he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
