What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
pop tarts are not kleenex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
