you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
