Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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