So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
