okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
