Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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