ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is Oprah even human
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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