So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We are two peas in an std pod
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
