Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
