I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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