If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
