I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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