watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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