No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
