Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
