Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
