I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
