you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
