She said her name was "party"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
