So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
