So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
