Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
