sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
