So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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