dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
