You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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