I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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