Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize