Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
do herpes really smell.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
