Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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