sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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