hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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