Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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