i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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