You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize