Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
