Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
