So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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