I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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