okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
