in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
