new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Farmville is her only friend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
