it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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