Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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