I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
