so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
