we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Someone came in the potted fern
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
