I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
