Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
love makes seman taste better
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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