I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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