He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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