So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Text me some of your sweat
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
