I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
BRING THE BAGELS
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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