I just cut my nipple shaving
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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