I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
