Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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