how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
