Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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